Conversation partner-part 6

This was the last meeting we have throughout out the semester. Looking back, I never thought about I can gain so much from the conversation. I realize that we can know a person’s personality from a deep conversation and know two people can have so many similarities from different countries. Life is as amazing as this.

    Today we started with North Korea. I was really reluctant to start this topic because I am not sure what do they think about this country, it can be very extreme, either don’t want to say anything bad or sympathetic about this country. Just like China and Taiwan. It will offend so many people if we say Taiwan is part of China.  As a result, I was really cautious when I mentioned about that. We began to talk about the president and the policy they have in North Korea.

  His friend said:” It is ridiculous what’s happening there.  Do you know the new president of North Korea has exactly the same name as me? Both first name and last. So I keep hearing my name appears in then news which bothers me a lot. Ok, and do you know that the president had a plastic surgery in order to look like his grandpa.  One thing I am really confused about is how can he be still this ignorant after he studied abroad in Europe. I thought people will get much more open-minded after studying abroad.”

   This was exactly what I was thinking about too. Such a weird president, studying abroad only makes him more close minded and to a very extreme. I am glad they think the same way because it would be awkward that if we have different opinions. But at that moment I could feel that we have the same attitudes towards the president and the country.

  Then she told me a serious story about the people in North Korea. She said when she was 12, the first year of Junior high school. One day, there was a girl showed up to the class who was from North Korea, she escaped from there and the government protected her.

  “ Wait, sorry for interrupting the story, but just curious, what do y’all think about the government from South Korea protecting the escaped people from North Korea?” I asked.

  “ I think it’s right!” My conversation partner said, and his friend agreed.

  “ So when she came to class, she began to stare at the people in the class, that annoyed some of the students in our class. We were so naïve that time, we think she is a bad girl because she is from North Korea as well as she stared at us. So our whole class bullied her using very bad language. So she transferred on the next day. I have never seen her since that. I still feel bad because I was part of it, if I stood up and did something to help her, maybe her life would be different, maybe the whole thing would change. Sometimes people are just too cruel to other people. “

  I was really sad after listening to this story. How many people do we hurt just because we were naïve and ignorant? Why do we even bully the people who need help? Instead, we should care about them, we should love them and help them.

  “ Hey, do you know the things happened in China earlier? A boy being crushed by a car and the car drove away. The boy was severely injured and laid down on the ground for 10 minutes, in the mean time, 18 people past by and no one stopped to help him.” My conversation partner asked.

  “ I have heard a little about it. But this is kind of common in China now. Since many people use this methods to let people help them and told the police is the person who helped her crushed them. So no one wants to help anyone. You can’t tell it’s true or not. It’s really pathetic. “ I said sadly.

  “ I see. Another thing is there are over 80% of Korean are Christians, but in my perspective, only 20% of them are real Christians. I don’t think I am a real Christians because I smoke and drink. There are so many people I know say there are Christians but they don’t act like Christians, that’s really bad for a country. Religion becomes unreal.” She said (The ideas are from my conversation partner but she translated for him).

  I told her that I feel the same way in America too. It’s actually not just in Korea. Religion in some country becomes a symbol, a symbol to be a normal person in this society. We don’t think this should be the reason that you believe in certain religion.

  We ended up this meeting with this topic. Maybe it’s a little bit intense but it let us think more about everything and about our lives. I really appreciate that we can get this opportunity to talk to people from different countries. It made me think so much and learn so much from them.

 

  

conversation partner-part 5

  Today is the third meeting of this week. I can feel that his English is improving since the frequency of his confusing face decrease. This made me very happy. And I really appreciate his friend, she is the one that always come with him. Without her translation, there is no way we can know that we have some many similarities and we can talk about so many stuffs that we never think about.
  We decided to meet in the Union Ground again this time.  This time we started our conversation with future plan.
  " So do you want to go back to Korea or stay in America after graduate from college?"
   He made sure he understood the question and said:" I want to go back to Korea!"
   "Why?"
  " I am happy in Korea."
   " Are you not happy here?"
  " No, I just think I am more happy there because I can communicate with people freely. Here sometimes I just feel I am...." He lost words.
   I knew exactly what he means, he means trapped.
   And I know exactly how that feels, the feeling of being trapped.
   It reminds me of the book we were talking about recently, the house on Mango street, people in that neighborhood can be trapped by the language barrier, it's more than physical, it's also about mind retrain. It's horrible a person can be trapped, it's even worse when your mind and your brain being trapped. That's why we need to write, writing is like the flowing of your thoughts. Don't ever let your thoughts and feeling stop flowing. There are as important as the flowing of your blood.
  " So is that also because of your friends and family?" I guessed that's one of the reasons that he wants to go back.
  "Yes, I really want to go back and reunion with my family." He said.
   At this time, his friend began to talk, " I agree with him. Here everyone has a car and you have to drive in order to go somewhere because the public transportation is not convenient at all. But in Korea, you can go anywhere without a car, you can either walk, riding a bicycle or taking a bus. Everything is convenient and close to each other."
  I am totally agree with this point because the same thing happens in China. You don't even need a car to survive. The public transportation is so convenient and cheap, sometimes it's even faster than private cars. So almost everyone prefer taking a bus than driving.
  " So are you going to buy a car?" I asked his friend.
  " No, I am scared of driving. " She laughed.
   My conversation partner began to speak, " She said she wanted to buy a car, but I don't want her to buy one because she screamed when the car approached my car when I was driving. I don't think she can drive here. She is too scared to drive. As well as I don't think it's safe for her to drive here. If she wants to go anywhere, I can drive her. I have a car and I can drive well."
  I was touched by this statement. I can drive you anywhere if you want because I want you to be safe. It's really simple but full of caring and loving. I guess that shows his personality a lot.
  Then we started to talk more about driving and different transportation and traffic materials. It was a really interesting conversation. We compared the similarities and the differences of the traffic conditions and traffic signals in America, China and Korea. I really enjoyed those kinds of comparisons. I guess they did too.
  A nice conversation can make the weather become better, as well as your emotions.
 

Conversation partner-part 4

  This time we met in the commons. It was a really nice day so we decided to just sit on the grass of the shady area. Since everything went well with his friend last time, this time he also brought his friend. It was really nice to see them twice in two days.
  "So what do you want to talk about today?" I asked, " Do you have specific topics you want to talk about ?'
  " Umm, I want to talk about movie and TV series. " He thought for about 20 seconds and then made this decision.
  " Cool, I really like Korean TV series and I told you that. So what's your favorite TV series? I may don't know but I'd love to watch it if you tell me the name. "
   He thought for a bit and said something in Korean. He realized later that he couldn't find the English word so he turned his head to his friend. They began to speak in Korean for a while then the girl knew what was he was talking about.
  She said:" I don't know the English name, but it should be "the best love" if we just translate directly from the Korean."
  " I have never heard about it. Can you tell me more about this TV series and who are the people, as well as why you like it?"
  He told me that the storyline is not that exciting, it is just typical Korean drama. Then he told me the names of the two leading role inside. I actually know both of them. So I was really interested in this drama. He said it is a comedy, it makes you laugh so hard when you watch it. He likes is so much is because he is a little tired of the sad Korean drama, the kind of the drama that made you cry your eyes out. Sometimes watch some relaxing drama can make your life better.
  I think life is the same, sometimes we just focus on the things that we think it's important, those things make us feel intense all the time. We are always on our way to chase after those those stuffs. But at some point, we should stop and look around to see how wonderful our lives is and start to appreciate the landscape on our way. I sometimes feel we are like a man lost 10 dollars, and tries to looking for the lost 10 dollars by tracing back the way he has past. He kept looking at the ground in order to preventing miss the money, he found and found, still couldn't find it. He was so tired, so he stopped and sat on a rock. Then he realized that he is sitting in a such beautiful place, the place he always dreams about. It has blue sky with floating puffy clouds, red flowers, and kids running around. " How can I miss all of that on my way?" He thought. Those beautiful things around us are sometimes more precious that 10 dollars. You can always earn more money or get higher status, but once you past a place, a period of time, miss some important people in your life, there is no way you can get back, the only thing you can do is regretting, which is meaningless.
  I told him my idea and he looked unsure about what I was talked about. So his friend helped him to clarify my ideas. After that, he said he is agreed with me. That's why he spends lots of time with his family now because he realized that family is the one who always support you no matter what, they don't need any reciprocatory, they will feel so happy if you ask about them and care about them. Especially for parents, sometimes the little thing you do to them will make them cry. Unfortunately, we always realize this too late, too late that we don't even have the chance to make it up.
  I like this meeting. Though sometimes we have problems understanding each other, but there are so many thing in the world don't need the same language to communicate. Like music, like smile, like love. I know that we share the same ideas, same feeling towards the beautiful landscape on our way. This made my day.
 

conversation partner part 3

  Today we met in the Union ground of BLUU. He brought one of his friend with him. She looks really nice and as soon as I started talking to her, I realized that her English is really good.
  " So are you a student in TCU or you you are also in ESL program?" I asked.
  " I am also a student in ESL program."
   That was really impressive. Before this meeting, since we had problems understanding each other, I prepared lots of topics beforehand for him to choose. So I showed him the list of the topics we can talk about and let him to pick one from it.
  "I pick...baseball!!! " He said.
  " Nice!!! so do you like baseball? And how long have you played baseball" I asked.
  "Yes!! And not long, around 3-4 months. But I stop playing since I got there."
  " I see. what's your favorite team then?"
  " Umm, it's a Korean that you probably never heard about. It's SKYUS. "
    He was right and I have never heard about that team.
   Then he picked another topic. He chose Art.
   His friend laughed very loudly after he choosing that topic.
  "He doesn't even like Arts. He said that is because I like Arts."
   I laughed and turned my head to him and asked, " So, what do you like about arts? Do you like painting or wood craving crafting or going to the museums? "
  " I don't like painting but I like going to the museums!! " He seemed excited about the museums.
  " Really? have you been you museums recently?"
  " Yes, I just went to the museums in Fort Worth last week. Kimbell museums. It was fun!"
  "Nice, what do they have there?"
  " Impressions, some modern Arts!" The girl said.
  " Is this museum free?' I asked and looked at my conversation partner.
  " Half of it is free, the other part is not. I think the free part has lower quality than the part which need to pay." He said.
   " I don't think so." His friend argued, " they are all good!" she said.
   I laughed.
  " So have you been to many museums in Korea?" I asked him.
  "No, I haven never been to museums in Korea!! Last week was the first time I have been to museums. " He answered me.
  This answer made me laugh so hardly. He said he like museums but he only has been to museum once, and it was last week.
  " I told you!" that girl said, " He is not into arts, he likes it because I like it, and he thinks it's cool to like it. "
  " But do you know what kind of museums do you have in Korea?" I asked.
  " Yes, ancient Korea museums. But we don't like those kind of museums." He said.
  " I would enjoy that if I have a chance because I am really interested in the history of different countries by visiting different museums." I was really excited about this.
  " Ok, let's choose another topic. " I showed that list to him again. This time he chose Christmas.
   " Tell me about your last Christmas then!!! "
  " Last Christmas I was in New York and it wasn't snowing last year as usual but it was really cold. I went to different places which I don't know the names. But I had really great time with my family and friends." Then he talked about the details about how did he spend his Christmas and those place he has been to but he can't remember the name. He talked very slow and use very simple words to describe those places, interestingly, I can't recognize almost all those places according to his description like Time Square, Central Park etc.
   We finished our meeting by talking about his last Christmas. It was a great meeting and I am really glad he can bring his friend to help him when he doesn't know how to say certain words or sentences. He said he is going to bring her with him next time too.
 

Coming-of-age 50s 60s library research

  I still only have a very vague definition of coming-of-age. Is that a moment or is that a period of time?

   I thought it is a period of time. 

   Well, I changed my opinion after I saw this set of pictures. A set of pictures of a turtle suddenly caught my eye among all those pictures in front of me.

    Those four pictures portray a turtle tried to flip on a beach after someone prank on him by putting him upside down.

   In this turtle’s world, it must be a hard thing to do. So he stretched his head first in order to reach the ground, then he used the strength of his head to flip half of his body to a straight position, finally he turned back to his right position.

  This is a simple set of pictures, but it taught me a lesson.

  Sometimes you can reach a coming-of-age moment in a sudden, maybe in a few minute, just like a turtle.

  It must be very hard for a turtle to flip for the first time. The moment he was flipped by a wave or by a person, he must be very desperate because he has never been flipped before, this was his first big challenge in his life. “ What should I do?” he thought, “ I need to work hard on this. I need to keep trying.” So he tried at tried, then finally fixed his body.

   The same thing happens to human. Everyone in his or her life will meet something that never happen before, at that moment, you will feel so desperate and you don’t know what to do. You don’t even know if there is hope in front of you. You lay down there and look at the sky just like a turtle, you are looking at the sky in a way that you never did before. You stretched your head since you want to see what’s going on around you, or maybe try to ask for help. Then you realize that you have to help yourself.  So you try your best to fix the problem, trying to get out of there. But life sometimes get so hard that when you reach a point, when you meet a point that you think it’s too hard for you, you don’t even know if you can flip this time. But you still need to try hard to work this out.

  But you will, whether you believe or not, you will reach that point that you finally flip over. Maybe the process was painful, maybe the way you flip wasn’t pretty enough. But those are not important. The moment important thing is you did it, you flipped your body in the end.

  I guess that will be the moment that we called coming-of-age. The moment you realize that you can do anything by trying hard and not giving up. The moment that you know if you meet the same problems later you know you can handle this and you know how you can do this.

  Every time when you deal with a major problem in your life, think about you are a turtle. A turtle is put upside down accidentally. All you have to do this try your best, and wait for that moment you can find your way out. I guess that’s the moment I am talking about. 

The house on Mango street

  “The house on mango street” is a beautiful and pure novel, more specifically, it is a “poem novel”. It is a story about growing up, looking for realistic and spiritual destination.

  It is made up by many short stories, each of the story portray a person, an event, a dream, several clouds, several trees, and some feelings.  The world the author use is as clear as flowing water, with some scattered rhyme and new analogy. Just like the songs with different length of tunes, each tune has its own rhyme but connect together at the same time, together they join a clear world with different lives of different people.

  Esperanza, means hope in Spanish. She lives in the Mango street which is a Latin American immigrant neighborhood in Chicago. Esperanza was born with the insight of others’ pain and a sympathetic heart, as well as the perception of beauty. She uses her clear eyes observe the world around her and use her juvenile tune like a poem to describe growth, to explain vicissitudes, to explicate the beauty and the tough of the lives, to express the dream and the ambition you have when you are young. You dream about you will have a house by yourself, you are going to find yourself in your writing, gaining freedom and the ability to help others.

  Like other American novels, she is independent, strong, as well as full of contradictions. In the reality, she is just a child. A girl born in Mexico who hasn’t recognize the kindness of the people from east, a girl who haven’t tasted enough the local food, being brought to America by her parents.  She went to a country with the air she is not familiar with, the land with the people she doesn’t know but seems “ dumb”. Immigration brought her all those contradictions. Regardless when her dad told her that her grandpa died or Guadalupe turned to the black and white photo, though she still looks pretty in that picture.

  The whole book is expressed by a child’s tune, but with the content that not a little child can stand. It use Iceberg theory to reflect the people and the society, just like using a white cloth to cover a glass with water, you can feel the transparent but cannot see the water inside clearly. Interestingly, this book doesn’t have the humor like typical American book, but filling with the romance a kid can have, maybe they don’t even know what is romance. Some metaphors are really cute and suitable, like her mom’s hair is like little rosettes, like little candy circles all curly and pretty.

  Sometimes the author talks about the dependence of life. Form here you can know the imagination of a kid, the attitudes towards life, and the compassion a kid has. The way she takes things seriously, her ideas and her thoughts are fully expressed in the life and society.  However, adults cannot understand those. They an explain a formula, a new noun, or a story with a ending, but they can never explain the thoughts of a kid.

  Life is as difficult as this. It can let people with the same language gather together. It can let the other group of people lost. But it’s wonderful. It tries to let a person stand on the edge, what behind him is a empty land.

coming of age draft 6

Everyone falls in love sometime in his or her lives, usually more than once. Some of those memories doesn’t last that long or maybe you want yourself to forget because some people just came into your life in order to give you a lesson then leave. However, there are some of them stuck in your head forever. Like first love, the first moment that you can feel your heartbeat, the first moment that you blush so bad that you couldn’t stop it.

  In China, it is almost a “taboo” if you start a relationship before college. People will judge you and try their best to stop those kinds of “unforgivable love” especially like parents and teachers. Unfortunately, I was the one who breaking the law at age of 12.

  Everything started like the stories in a typical soap drama. He was my desk mate. So one day, he called me and asked me to guess whom does he like. After a round of guessing nearly all the girls that I can remember, I was confusing. Then he said “you.” That word just made me feel ridiculous. 

  “Me? Are you crazy?” I guess that was the dumbest response I can ever give in my lifetime.

  Everything became awkward after that. I knew that there is no way we can develop our relationship because it is socially and morally wrong that time. If we were being caught, then I would lose everything, including “ I am a good student “ title and the trust from family and parents.

  But I said “ I like you” back 5 months later without consideration since I did like him.

  Life became amazing after that because love became mutual instead of one-sided. People will not be happy if they only giving but not receiving during a relationship. We both gained happiness each other and enjoyed the every single moments with each other.

  I still remember the first time we held hand. It was a English class, he sat next to him. It was August, there was only fan in the classroom so we can feel the hot air came in and out. Birds were singing freely outside. The teacher was standing in front of us talking about grammar. I was writing notes with my write hand and the other hand was on my leg. After a while, I could feel some hot air came towards my left hand. I was so nervous that I stop breathing. Then a subtle touch on my hand, very softly that I could ignore it if I didn’t pay attention. After observing me (which I pretended nothing happened). He gently grabbed my hand with his hands. All the sudden, all those thoughts were blowing away. My brain turned completely blank. I had no clue what teacher was talking about in front me.  I only could feel two hands in this university. I guess that’s the power of the love. The moment you couldn’t breath because you were so nervous about those two holding hands.

  Both of us stuck in that embarrassing situation because we don’t know what to do with those hands. I could feel that my hand was sweating, seriously, my hand was totally wet. I didn’t know what to do until the class was about to finish. So I tried to loose the fingers and let it go. Finally, my hand broke free. It was good to save my hand out of this embarrassing situation too.

  I never expected this would be my first holding hand moment, together with sweat and embarrassment.  And of course, with nervous and excitement.

  That’s the most brave things we have never done till the relationship finish later. I was even wondering if this can be called as a “ relationship” since there was nothing happened except that.

  What is a relationship, maybe it can be simply defined as mutual love and we are mature enough to realize this love. If that makes sense.

  We were braver after that, but that brave limited to looking at each other more, talking to each other more. Love does grows, and I could truly feel the glooming.

   All the stories have this “ but”. Same as this one. Teacher finally found out about this, as well as parents. We got into serious trouble. Our parents and teacher sat together and asked us to confess everything. We both got serious punishment from parents too.

  So we gave up. At the age of 12, we gave up liking each other because we couldn’t continue doing it anymore. The pain this love brought to us surplus the happiness we could get.

  It sounds like a lame story since there was no fighting back or happy ending of this story. But it did teach me what is love and it was one of those coming of age moment that makes me grow up.

  Love sometimes doesn’t last but memory does.